I think there are different words depending on WHY you think you shouldn't share your inner thoughts and feelings.
this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2025
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Schadenfreude basically translates to the joy of suffering. I don’t think it’s what you’re describing.
I think “reticence” is closer.
You’re right that it’s not that, but the Germans probably have a word for it.
Schadenfreude is the joy from seing others suffer, so more sadistic than masochistic
Withholding, I think.
The trick is to know if you are withholding for good reasons (because there are lots of times you should absolutely shut the fuck up) and bad reasons (when you need help) and... complicated reasons (you need help and have a legitimate fear the person may not be supportive).
At the risk of reading too much into this...
Any time I hear someone mention sharing their deepest feelings with someone, my experience is it's because they want to tell someone they love them but the other person is not into them for some reason — usually being with someone else, or not attracted to your gender. Should that be the case this time, you are withholding for good reasons. Keep your mouth shut. I have never ever seen that go well. It will not go well.
Huh. I tend to interpret "deep feelings that one feel like they shouldn't share", to be feelings that are heavy for others to hear and risk affecting them negatively/emotionally in turn. Like depression, shame, disgust, suicidal ideation, anxiousness, hopelessness, anger or betrayal. People might not want to share for fear of illiciting sadness, pity, shame, worry, or withdrawal in the listener.
What different associations we have learned to make.
If it's blood relatives:
Generational Trauma
I can't talk about suicide anymore because the last time I told my mom about it, it didn't went well, and I got more suicidal.
Every now and again I see a comment on the internet that triggers my Dad response and makes me want to offer a virtual hug to a stranger.
(You are lovable and the world is better with you in it.)
A repeated and inexplicable desire to do something you think you shouldn’t is often called a “compulsion.”
A compulsion to expose your inner thoughts, specifically, is often called “not having a therapist.”
Not sure I understand your question (not a native speaker) but I would say: lucidity?
I mean, this probably won't feel nice to many, but 'family' and 'people close to us' are just people we're more or less related to, or we like to spend time with. But they're still just people, with the same... limitations most if not all other people have (us included). Some people can be welcoming and receptive to what they don't like or to what they don't understand, most won't be.
Suffice to look around us to realize that those many constantly angry people we see everywhere hating on one another, they too are 'family' to someone else.
The only exception I would make to what I just said is toward one's best friend. Singular. I'm not talking about real good friends and people one may enjoy spending time with. I'm talking about a true best friend. Which is rare, rarer than true love I would say. Someone that will never be afraid to tell us when we're acting like a dick, or worse and someone whom we will never get angry at when they do so. Someone we can deeply disagree with, too, while still being able to have deep and nuanced conversations, without any fear or shame.
Clarity.
Even if it is born in you, not everything is meant to be shared.
Ambivalent?
How is that the he opposite of schadenfreude?
Conflict? Ambivalence? Fright?