I love 3D art, and I want to make games eventually. I remember using my cracked copy of 3D Studio MAX to experiment and try things "just to see real quick!" when I was supposed to be doing more boring homework like report writing.

I even kept my obsession after a community college semester with the most joy-killing professor on the subject you could ever meet.

I dropped out of college because of life and found Blender, and kept learning as much as I could because I thought it was my ticket to a real job that didn't involve "How may I help you?" every single day. It was going to be my way out.

Well, just a year or so ago I FINALLY got paid to do a freelance character sculpt. And...It took way longer than I hoped, I hammered on it like every single day, and I haven't touched Blender since wrapping that project.

I really want to get back to modeling, but it made me realize I definitely don't want to be an "industry" 3D artist making stuff to someone else's exacting specifications for money. I still would love to sell a game on Steam or something some day.

...But I put a lot of skill points into these skills already, following what I love...so I'm kinda lost. Business and work is a realm that just makes me nauseous and anxious to think about as the water keeps rising, so to speak.

So I guess I'm saying: don't make the thing you love your lifeline to surviving capitalist society, because unless that thing is "making money", doing it for money or clientelle chokes the joy out of most human endeavors.