Ask Lemmy
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Are you safe? Do you need help? I’ve ran across your posts from time to time and most of them are concerning to me.
I post the dark thoughts online so I can clear my mind of those thoughts, to "process" those thoughts.
I mean I wouldn't dare say this to a therapist, I'd get involuntarily committed, which would just make me even more depressed.
Last time I asked this question to my mom, she got mad at me.
Being involuntarily committed requires a present danger to yourself or others. Curiosity is not that. Talk to a therapist, it can really help.
(Also, for what it’s worth, being committed can really help. I spent a few days in a mental health ward and, while I wanted nothing more than to get out at the time, it ended up being very good for me. Unfortunately it also meant I started avoiding talking to a therapist, like you’re doing. I regret that result immensely, therapy is too useful.)