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Knowing someone close in my family whose young son committed suicide (and being a parent myself), I can tell you that it destroys your world. You will replay all of the times you could have prevented it for years to come. You will doubt every interaction you had with them, playing out scenarios that never happened trying to unwind what went wrong. It tortures you. Tears you down. The journey afterward is bitter and you react different toward those who haven’t endured such a loss.
Basically, from what I observed, if fucking sucks more than anything and nobody should have to endure that. It’s not worth it to do that to your loved ones.