Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Thanks for answering.
I'm completely with you on the .ml and the phobias things, but I think your comments about what gay guys wear is an obviously crass comment, that might get a laugh in your friendship group after some specific experience, but I think you should absolutely know not to post it as a general comment out of politeness if nothing else.
The .ml mods take offence at anything even mildly critical of Russia, China or North Korea (or communism of course): You're not the asshole, they are.
The people taking offence at you asking them to be considerate and put phobia triggers behind spoilers: You're not the asshole, they are.
The people taking offence at you apparently "jokingly" calling a whole category of people out for their clothing choices while you apparently socially enforce gender stereotypes, in a space designed as a safe space for the frequently bullied, frequently misgendered, frequently clothing criticised trans community? I'm afraid this time, you are the asshole, and an apology and retraction would have been better than being defensive, doubling down and arguing that they ought not to have taken offence.
Who were you criticising or joking about each time?
Authoritarian regimes? Nasty. OK to criticise.
People triggering phobias? Nasty. OK to criticise.
Gay people wearing non gender conforming clothes? Not nasty, just different. Not OK to criticise. Not OK to joke about. Gay folk and trans folk have had everything about them criticised and made fun of their whole lives. It was always going to land badly.
Not that you asked for my opinion, and sorry to butt in, but that's what I think.