this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2025
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I know that I need to go and touch the grass, but I'm an introvert, it's hard for me to communicate with people on the street.

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[–] WhiteRabbit_33@lemmy.world 33 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Find a hobby you're interested in if you don't have one already. Find a group in your area that meets up to discuss or engage in that hobby in person. Make friends with the people in that group by just existing around them and talking about your shared interest. Maybe one of those friendships turns into a relationship, maybe not.

Don't think of the people there as potential partners but as people you like spending time with and genuinely enjoy being around. If one of those friendships has mutual attraction and becomes a partnership, that's great! If not, you'll probably meet other people through them and maybe one of those will turn into a relationship.

Examples of hobbies for introverts that provide more structure for interaction and can have limited talking if needed:

  • Boardgames / dueling card games like Netrunner / tabletop roleplaying games
  • Pinball
  • Video games fighting games or speed running communities are more widespread for in person events
  • Book clubs
  • Hiking, rolling skating, skateboarding, tennis, pickleball, basketball, soccer, bicycling, running, or swimming if you want to get some exercise
[–] lennybird@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Echoing this: If you set out to finds someone directly, more often than not you're going to have a bad time I think. The most organic way is through self-improvement and a certain inner-peace or contentment with being on your own. Combine this with getting involved in communities of ANY sort that you find comfort or passion in, from a pick-up sports league to DnD group to renaissance festival — whatever. Start finding community, and from there organic connection is bound to occur.

But again, it's not something you pursue directly but almost always by serendipitous, indirect means.

For me, it was like a flip of the switch. The moment I started to focus on self-improvement and be content with being on my own was the moment I started to be invited to things; which then gave me the confidence to say, "yeah, sure I'll go." It was one of these times I met my partner, soul mate, of going on 2 decades.

I'm very much an introvert, and my partner is extremely extroverted. She asked me out on our first date, actually lol.