I know for myself, I have a bit of a mental barrier of separation between what I find kinky in fictional media, and what I would ever expect of real people. I fear for people that break that barrier, failing to understand the ways fiction goes outside of reality.
Of course, there’s rare cases where people somehow match porn - it’s probably best to let those be a surprise, not something you seek.
Ah yes, the fascist plan of "Look, we all know the foregone conclusion. X person will never change their mind (certainly not saying I support them), so you shouldn't stand against them."