Ask Lemmy

I had sex once.

Walking home from the bus stop, this much younger little kindergarten girl who I could tell had a crush on me, turned to me and said, “you drive me cookoo bananas!” then hastily turned into the street without looking where she was immediately hit by an oncoming car (which slammed on their brakes at the point of impact) and launched literally like 5 meters.

I can still see her flying through the air in slow motion in my memory.

The neighborhood Mom who hit her was inconsolable.

Best part of the story (and the only reason I would relay such a tragic event in this thread): she was somehow almost unscathed and was at school the next week no worse for the wear by all accounts.

She more than earned the nickname, “Fender Bender” given to her by the mean kids.

I was at Goodwill one time and I swear to you I heard a conversation almost exactly like this at the jewelry counter.

employee: hello how's it going today?

customer: pretty damn terrible

employee: oh, uh... well I hope it starts getting better soon

customer: it never does

Had an emotionally painful, self-esteem crushing experience at the hands of a high school girl that left me bitter and angry. Reconnected with her 15 years later and set about trying to hurt her the way I hurt. Wound up falling in love and getting married.

That's some Hollywood bullshit right there but we've been married going on 15 years.